Finding Steadiness in an Overwhelmed World: Emotional Regulation

By: Lindsay Kate Skinner MA, LPC, NCC

Imagine this: you’re driving home after a long day. The kids are loud in the back seat, traffic is at a stand still, and your phone won’t stop buzzing with emails and texts. Your chest tightens, your jaw clenches, and before you know it, you’ve snapped at everyone around you. The moment passes, but you’re left with guilt and frustration: Why can’t I handle this better?

Sound familiar? Moments like this don’t mean you’re broken. These moments mean you’re human. But they also reveal something important: how much our bodies and minds need skills for emotional regulation.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to notice, understand, and manage your emotional experiences in a healthy way. It doesn’t mean suppressing or ignoring feelings. Instead, it’s about creating space between what you feel and how you respond so that you can act in line with your values rather than your impulses. In the brain, emotions are processed by the amygdala (our built-in alarm system). When the amygdala senses danger (real or perceived), it floods the body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. This is sometimes called flooding. That’s why your heart races, your breath quickens, and your muscles tense. This is useful when we need to run from a bear, but less helpful in family conflict. If you’re curious about how the brain and emotions connect, The Whole-Brain Child, by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, offers an accessible and practical look at how to build these skills for kids and adults alike.

A Deeper Look: When Regulation Feels Out of Reach

Now imagine another moment: it’s 2 a.m., and you can’t sleep. Your mind won’t stop spinning. What if I fail? What if something goes wrong? Why can’t I calm down? You try to push the thoughts away, but your body is restless, your stomach is knotted, and the anxiety feels unbearable. For people who haven’t learned regulation skills, this cycle can feel endless. Anxiety hijacks the body and convinces the mind that danger is everywhere. Work becomes overwhelming, relationships feel fragile, and even small decisions trigger panic. Without the ability to regulate, life can feel like walking through a storm with no shelter, every gust of wind knocking you further off balance. This is why emotional regulation matters. It’s not just about avoiding an outburst in traffic or staying calm with your kids. It’s about reclaiming peace when anxiety shows up uninvited. And the good news is: regulation is a skill you can practice and grow, with the right support.

Tools for Practicing Emotional Regulation

1. Name the Emotion: Putting words to feelings (“I feel anxious,” “I feel sad”) lessens their intensity and gives your brain a sense of control. This is one of the first strategies taught in Mind Over Mood, a workbook rooted in CBT. At Apollo, we use CBT techniques like this to help clients challenge the cycle of anxious thoughts and emotional overwhelm.

2. Breathe With Intention: Try box breathing: inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Longer exhales send signals of safety to your nervous system. Apps like Headspace and Calm can guide you through these practices. In session, we can walk clients through simple breathing practices that can be used anywhere, from the car to the office to the middle of a sleepless night.

3. Ground Yourself: When anxiety spirals, use the “5-4-3-2-1” sensory method: 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. For guided practices, the Insight Timer app has free meditations for grounding. We teach grounding as a cornerstone of emotional regulation, because reconnecting with the present moment helps clients feel less consumed by “what ifs.”

4. Reframe the Story: Anxiety often whispers lies: “You can’t handle this.” Challenge it with truth: “This moment is hard, but I am capable of facing it.” For structured practice, The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook offers tools from DBT. In counseling, reframing is part of shifting the “inner story.” We help clients build compassion toward themselves and resilience in how they view challenges.

5. Build Rhythms of Rest: Regulation becomes easier when your body is cared for. Sleep, nutrition, and physical activity lower baseline stress and prepare your brain for balance. The MoodMission app offers daily “missions” to practice these healthy rhythms. At Apollo, we view self-care as more than buzzwords, it’s the foundation of nervous system health.

6. Seek Support: Sometimes the fastest way to regulate is through connection. Talking with a trusted friend or working with a counselor creates “co-regulation,” where another person’s calm presence steadies your nervous system. Therapies like CBT, DBT, or somatic approaches can be especially effective for long-term growth. Our role as counselors is to offer that steady presence and to teach clients how to bring these same skills into their daily lives.

A Gentle Reminder

If regulation feels hard for you, you’re not alone. The good news is, they can be learned at any stage of life. Each practice: naming, breathing, grounding, builds new pathways in the brain. Over time, those pathways become stronger, and steadiness becomes easier to access. At Apollo Counseling, we don’t just talk about emotional regulation, we actively practice these skills in session, tailoring them to your unique story. Whether you’re navigating anxiety, depression, or the daily stress of parenting and work, we’ll help you build tools that last far beyond the therapy room. You don’t have to face the storm alone. With support and practice, regulation can become your shelter, your anchor, and your way forward into peace.

Quick Reference of Resources Mentioned

Books: The Whole-Brain Child, Mind Over Mood, The DBT Skills Workbook, Apps: Headspace, Calm, Insight Timer, MoodMission

Therapy Approaches: CBT, DBT, Somatic therapies (all of which we integrate at Apollo Counseling)

About the Author

Lindsay Kate Skinner is a dedicated professional at Apollo Counseling, where she combines her expertise in mental health with a genuine passion for supporting individuals on their journeys to well-being. Her approach emphasizes empathy and understanding, creating a safe space for clients to explore their thoughts and feelings. Lindsay Kate is committed to empowering those she works with, helping them to develop resilience and coping strategies that promote personal growth and healing. With a focus on holistic care, she strives to guide her clients toward achieving their goals and finding balance in their lives. Get Connected!