Coping with Estrangement During the Holidays
The holiday season can bring a lot of joy, but for some, it can also bring a sense of loss, especially when estrangement is a part of the picture. Whether you’re estranged from a family member due to conflict, painful memories, or differing values, the grief from this type of separation can be uniquely isolating. At Apollo Counseling, we understand how challenging it can be to cope with estrangement, especially during the holidays. We’re here to offer support and provide guidance to help you navigate this difficult time.
Estrangement During the Holidays: A Common Struggle
Estrangement isn’t as uncommon as we might think. According to research, a significant number of people are estranged from at least one family member. This could be due to a variety of reasons, such as addiction, parental alienation, mental illness, abuse, or disagreements over significant issues like sexual orientation or lifestyle. Whatever the cause, the grief experienced in estrangement can feel especially lonely because it’s not always a grief that can be shared with others.
Holidays tend to magnify the pain of estrangement. While families may gather together to mourn the loss of a loved one, estranged individuals often find themselves isolated, with no clear way to express their sorrow or desire for connection. Whether it’s a person not being invited to a family gathering or feeling excluded because others still interact with family members you’re distanced from, these moments can bring up feelings of sadness, frustration, and loneliness.
Five Tips for Coping with Estrangement During the Holidays
At Apollo Counseling, we know how tough this time of year can be. That’s why we want to share some practical strategies for coping with estrangement during the holidays.
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s essential to allow yourself grace during this time. The holiday season can bring up many emotions, and it’s okay to take things slow. Don’t feel pressured to match the “perfect” image of holiday cheer you see on TV or social media. Honor your feelings, whether that means spending the day quietly or seeking out peaceful moments to recharge.
It’s Okay to Remember
If you have positive memories from past holidays, it’s okay to hold on to them. You may feel a sense of loss when you think of those times, but remembering the love you shared with the person you’re estranged from is still valid. If those memories are painful, consider finding other positive holiday memories to focus on that can bring comfort.
Wishes Don’t Need to Be Shared
While you may not be able to express your holiday wishes directly to someone you’re estranged from, it doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t there. You can still send them love in your heart or through actions like lighting a candle or writing a letter you never send. Your wishes for them are still valid, even if unspoken.
Find Joy Where You Can
While it’s hard to feel the full holiday spirit when you're dealing with estrangement, there are still moments you can enjoy. Whether you decide to accept an invitation to a friend’s family gathering or spend time with close loved ones, making new memories can bring some light into the season. It’s okay to find happiness where you can, even if it’s different than what you expected.
Create New Traditions
Estrangement can open the door to creating new traditions that are uniquely yours. This could be anything from exploring new holiday activities, like a light display or volunteering, to starting a new ritual, such as cooking a favorite dish or watching a special movie. Starting something new can be empowering and offer a sense of renewal during the holiday season.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
Estrangement is nothing less than challenging, especially around the holidays. Our team is here to provide a compassionate, supportive environment where you can explore your feelings, process grief, and build the resilience to move forward. Whether you need to talk through your emotions, create new coping strategies, or just find someone who understands, we are here to help.
If you’re struggling with estrangement this holiday season, reach out to one of our counselors. Let’s work together to make this season a little easier to navigate.
