The Cost of Quick Relief From Anxiety
By: Lindsay Kate Skinner NCC, LPC
Building a Tolerance for Anxiety
When anxiety shows up, most of us want it gone as quickly as possible.
So we check. We avoid. We ask someone to reassure us. We replay the conversation. We Google the symptom. We cancel the plan. We try to make absolutely sure everything is okay.
And for a moment, it works.
The anxiety comes down.
The problem is that our brain can begin to learn: “I couldn’t handle that feeling. I had to do something to make it go away.”
Over time, this can actually make us less tolerant of anxiety.
Building anxiety tolerance means learning that we can feel anxious without immediately responding to it. We can notice the uncertainty, the uncomfortable physical sensations, or the scary “what if?” thought and give them some room to exist.
Instead of immediately asking, “How do I make this feeling stop?” we can practice asking:
“Can I allow this feeling to be here without trying to fix it right now?”
That might mean waiting before seeking reassurance. Resisting the urge to check one more time. Doing the thing you’ve been avoiding. Or simply noticing anxiety in your body without trying to solve it.
This isn’t about enjoying anxiety or pretending that everything is fine.
It’s about teaching your brain something new:
I can feel anxious and still be okay.
I can tolerate uncertainty.
I don’t have to respond to every anxious thought.
Sometimes the way through anxiety isn’t finding
more certainty.
It’s discovering that you can handle the discomfort of not having it.
About the Author
Lindsay Kate Skinner is a dedicated professional at Apollo Counseling, where she combines her expertise in mental health with a genuine passion for supporting individuals on their journeys to well-being. Her approach emphasizes empathy and understanding, creating a safe space for clients to explore their thoughts and feelings. Lindsay Kate is committed to empowering those she works with, helping them to develop resilience and coping strategies that promote personal growth and healing. With a focus on holistic care, she strives to guide her clients toward achieving their goals and finding balance in their lives. Get Connected!
